Monday, September 30, 2013

Life Lately

Excited For: Fall! I'm excited about all the great things that Autumn entails: pumpkin, crispy leaves, sweater weather... mmm! I'm also really excited about my first semester of college starting on the 10th. I still have 1 book that I have to go get, but other than that, I'm basically golden! Also, I ordered an anniversary gift for Joe and it's already here! I cannot wait for November 16th!!!

Worried About: Finding a job. I haven't heard back from any of the places I have applied to, so it has me pretty worried. I am going to need a job so that I can start saving to support myself. I can't be living at home with mom forever, ya know.

Pleased With: My haul from the Friends of the Library Annual Book Sale. All of the books in the picture above cost me a total of $11! They were running a special also, and I could have filled an entire box with books for just as much, but I didn't have time to go back around once I found out about it! I'm a little disappointed, but I will know for next year!

Waiting For: My order from Kintage to come in! Unfortunately, Kintage shut down after about 2 years, but they had a great sale to end their business, so I got a great dress and a pair of earrings for only $17 with free shipping! Since their website shut down, I can't track the order, but I am anxiously waiting by the door! I'm pretty sure this dress is the one I'm going to wear when Joe and I get our pictures done for our anniversary. :)

Links I Love:
  • I find this song hilarious, in part because the first time I saw it was at 3 a.m. and so I had that natural sleepy-high thing going on. Don't judge me.


Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Blogtember: Memories

A memory you would love to relive.

I think a memory that I would love to relive is actually a fairly recent one. My senior prom basically sucked, so Joe and I left early. We put Pandora on and slow danced for like an hour on our own. It was incredibly romantic, and just one of those little memories I don't want to forget.


Monday, September 16, 2013

Blogtember: My Dear

 Write a public love letter to someone in your life. (It doesn't necessarily need to be romantic.)

Dear Joe,

We're about 2 months away now from our 3 year anniversary. Never in my wildest dreams would I have guessed that I would be so lucky. My first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first relationship, and we've lasted this long with no indication of us ever ending it. You have been my greatest friend, my most loyal companion. I don't know how I was ever blessed enough to meet you and have you become a part of my life. I can't imagine where I would be right now without you. You love me unconditionally, TRULY unconditionally, and that in itself is more than I could ever have asked for. You have seen me at my best and at my worst, and you have comforted me through the toughest time of my life. When my dad was in the hospital after his stroke, you went and visited him on your own without me ever asking, and I didn't expect you to. I love everything about you, from your wonderful heart to the not-so-wonderful things of your past that have shaped you into the man I love. I am so excited to be coming up so soon on this wonderful benchmark in our relationship and equally as excited for all those to come. 

I love you with all my heart,


Thursday, September 12, 2013

Blogtember: Social Influence

 Discuss ways that blogging or social media has changed you.

Oh, the fine world of social media! With its great power to connect people from around the world in an instant and spread news faster than wildfire, it seems to be only good at surface level. Don't get me wrong, I love being able to connect with people, but when it comes down to it, I have seen many things about social media become not-so-wonderful. There's cyberbullying, and blackmail, and a more public kind of popularity contest.

I admit that I sometimes find myself being overly hard on myself over the fact that not as many of my friends "like" my pictures or statuses as other people get on theirs. I catch myself wondering "Do I not look good here?" or "Why isn't that funny enough?" It causes me to wonder if I even leave an impression at all on people. I am getting less and less concerned with this, but for a while, especially around my freshman year of high school, it was a HUGE deal to me and it made me feel really bad about myself. 

Enter blogging. When I started this blog, I decided not to share it with my friends and family at home for a while. Still to this day, only my boyfriend and my friend Quincy even knows about it. And honestly, that's okay. Because I have been able to put my true opinion out there and fully express myself without the worry of my friends and family being critical. Eventually I will tell everyone about it, but for now, it's just for me. And the great thing is that I have gotten quite a bit of positive feedback from complete strangers. And that feels really good.


Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Exploring Horoscopes

I have lately been exploring astrology and horoscopes and found that while it seems far-fetched, mine truly seem to describe me perfectly. I thought I'd share some of my signs and meanings. Perhaps they will give my readers an insight to who I am. I'm also including descriptions of each kind of sign.

Sun Sign: Reveals things about a person's outer self
My Sun Sign is Capricorn. 
"Sun in Capricorn has a natural tendency to reach a prominent position in society. This person has a serious attitude towards life, the ability to make plans of extreme complexity, and the aptitude to implement them very methodically and cautiously.
Such people build their lives in much the same way a skilled architect creates a huge building: they are very reliable but can also be very slow.
Sun-in-Capricorn individuals will shine in situations that require taking responsibility, or that have a significant complexity and many moving parts."

Moon Sign: Reveals things about a person's inner self

My Moon Sign is Pisces

"Intuitive, imaginative, compassionate, romantic, easily influenced. Likes emotionally rich situations, enjoys being creative. Hates strict rules and discipline.
Sensitivity, changeability, rich imagination - these are the distinguishing features of the Moon in Pisces individuals. They are so perceptible to others' emotions that can be deeply moved by a situation in which someone else would never notice anything special. They try to avoid strict order or rigid rules and prefer to create around them a kind of "creative chaos", as if protesting against requirement to put things on their places.
Rich imagination of the Moon in Pisces helps these people in creative endeavours, but their negative trait can be a lack of reliability and responsibility. They don't know to where and when they will swim away next time - but at least not to a place where they will be required to do something. If they meet an obstacle, the Moon in Pisces people will find a way around. They will never storm or forcefully demand anything. Quietly and softly moving from one situation to another, they will be looking for a place with a cleaner emotional atmosphere.
To release stress, the Moon in Pisces folks might want to stay alone in some romantic surroundings and to day dream. They are able to meditate naturally, to travel in their imagination to a different reality. It may be good for them to live or at least to spend their vacations near a body of water, best of all a sea or an ocean. Even by simply spending a little time at the sea shore they will immediately feel significant relief.
Unfortunately, many of the Moon in Pisces people are prone to smoking and alcohol as a way to get an emotional relief. This might help for a period, but their body is very sensitive to contamination and consequences of such an unnatural relief can be really detrimental.
The Moon in Pisces parents are kind and full of compassion, they are ready to understand and forgive anyone. They like fairy tales even more than their kids and can read them for hours. They will take an active part in development of creative abilities and imagination of their children. But one thing where they are not helpful is in teaching their children how to deal with the real world, how to be responsible and ordered. They have no idea about this themselves."

Rising Sign: The "us" we put out for others to see, the mask we wear

My Rising Sign is Cancer

You are dreamy, with a psychological nature that is oriented towards nostalgia for things past, towards your mother and your family. Your instinct and your need to protect yourself from the outside world are highly developed. Your inner life is rich, with a vivid and even unlimited imagination, a propensity to avoid all risks and to pursue security. You show your true face only to persons you can trust and you need the well being brought about by the nostalgia for the past.
With this Ascendant, you come across as emotional, sentimental, restful, sensitive, loyal, enduring, protective, vulnerable, generous, romantic, tender, poetic, paternal or maternal, dreamy, indolent, greedy and dedicated. You may also be fearful, unrealistic, evasive, passive, touchy, anxious, dependent, stubborn, lunatic, backward-looking, lazy, burdensome, impenetrable and a homebody.

Celtic Horoscopes

Druid Horoscopes (Trees)

My Druid Sign is the Fir Tree

The Fir Tree, an evergreen, was held in very high esteem by the Druid people. In the dead of winter, when the countryside was dull and grey and blanketed with snow, the Fir was one of those trees that brought color and life to the landscape with its very cold, austere beauty. The Fir is symbolic of friendship, resilience, perceptiveness, longevity, and honesty. Fir people are very sensory-oriented, and are drawn to dim lights and the aroma of perfumes. 

Fir people love antique jewelry and other old things, and they enjoy being part of majestic celebrations. Despite this last attraction, and because they are capricious and not easy to live with; they often experience a strong sense of isolation and can feel lonely even among large groups of people. Those born under this proud and resolute sign do not give up until they achieve their goal. They are not likely to fall under anyone's influence; their discreet nature prohibits them from sharing their opinions and makes them seem rather gloomy at times – especially because they are rarely ever satisfied with what they have.

Fir people can be very demanding and hard to negotiate with. Knowing and understanding their true value, they always try to get the most out of life, and usually they manage to achieve it. 

If a Fir Tree person ever falls in love, the experience shakes his or her world to its core. Their love can be truly unconditional. This sign is also very intellectual. Fir Tree people have very analytical minds that lean toward science, yet they don't always achieve significant success. Sometimes they end up working in some other area that has nothing to do with their interests or education. But whatever they do, they take their work seriously, and they can occasionally reach lofty heights in their work because of their scrupulousness and outstanding work ethic.

When Fir Tree people have to choose between different options, they usually pick the most difficult path. That's because deep down they believe that it is their destiny to create difficult situations for themselves and for others. But whatever happens, Fir Trees are very noble, and one can fully rely on them. They remain optimistic through every endeavor, and never lose their faith. However, Fir Tree people usually neglect small things because they prefer to focus on the big picture instead.

Celtic Animal Horoscope

My Celtic Animal Sign is a Stag:

The stag Celtic animal sign has high ideals and aspirations. If you want to start a new project, get a Stag sign to help you. They will not be deterred from their vision. They are thorough, patient and their persistence insures their triumphs. When others have long given up, Stags buck their way past boundaries. They are proud, and rightfully so - they hold themselves in a regal way. They are naturally noble, like they came from royalty. This is not to say Stags feel entitled. Far from it. They believe in righteous hard work, and their integrity is their trademark.

I personally find all these things highly interesting. I plan on looking more into horoscopes and astrology.


Blogtember: Life Changing

Describe a distinct moment when your life took a turn.

I think the moment when my life took a turn would have to be the day my brother was born. We were living in Oklahoma, and I was about 9 years old. I remember my mom waking me up and we grabbed our little pre-packed suitcase. I don't really remember much else until after he was born. I sat in the waiting room for 45 minutes, and next thing I knew, I was holding this little 6 pound 12 ounce baby boy. I was so excited  to be  holding my brother, but I didn't realize I would end up as a second parent-figure to him alongside my mom. I have changed so much from having a little brother and raising him. It's been a little stressful, but I wouldn't change anything for the world. I love my little brother. 


Monday, September 9, 2013

Blogtember: INFJ

Take this short personality test and respond to your results. (at the end, find the detailed profile of your personality account - click "click to view" under "You" and "self awareness and personal growth." You can even google your type and find more info on it!)

Introverted iNtuiting Feeling Judging
by Marina Margaret Heiss
INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally "doers" as well as dreamers. This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn.
INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.
Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).
This empathy can serve as a classic example of the two-edged nature of certain INFJ talents, as it can be strong enough to cause discomfort or pain in negative or stressful situations. More explicit inner conflicts are also not uncommon in INFJs; it is possible to speculate that the causes for some of these may lie in the specific combinations of preferences which define this complex type. For instance, there can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.
Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the "inspirational" professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and counseling are other obvious choices, but overall, INFJs can be exceptionally difficult to pigeonhole by their career paths. Perhaps the best example of this occurs in the technical fields. Many INFJs perceive themselves at a disadvantage when dealing with the mystique and formality of "hard logic", and in academic terms this may cause a tendency to gravitate towards the liberal arts rather than the sciences. However, the significant minority of INFJs who do pursue studies and careers in the latter areas tend to be as successful as their T counterparts, as it is *iNtuition* -- the dominant function for the INFJ type -- which governs the ability to understand abstract theory and implement it creatively.
In their own way, INFJs are just as much "systems builders" as are INTJs; the difference lies in that most INFJ "systems" are founded on human beings and human values, rather than information and technology. Their systems may for these reasons be conceptually "blurrier" than analogous NT ones, harder to measure in strict numerical terms, and easier to take for granted -- yet it is these same underlying reasons which make the resulting contributions to society so vital and profound.

I read this section on my personality profile from the quiz and it sounds EXACTLY like me. I'm shocked honestly. Go take the quiz, people. It's worth it.


Friday, September 6, 2013

Blogtember: Fear

A story about a time you were very afraid.

When I was in middle school, we lived in a not-so-great neighborhood, known for being lower-income housing, and such the home to some not-so-savory people and scary events. I remember my brother and I were babysat by a woman up the road, and when mom got back from work late at night, she would come get us and we would walk down the road 3 houses to ours. One night, Mom woke me up and we walked home. I was super exhausted, and didn't even think twice about going inside and getting in bed while mom talked to our neighbor for a second. Next thing I know, a police officer is waking me up and telling me to go outside because they had to search my room. Apparently, our back sliding door was open and the blinds were moving like someone was trying to get in or out, and mom called the police. We had been broken into. Although nothing was stolen or broken, it was really terrifying, and I didn't even want to go inside. 

The next couple of days, mom made some calls to ADT and we got a security system installed. (Which apparently mom set off on accident one night and I slept right through it, haha.)


Thursday, September 5, 2013

Blogtember: Dream Time Off

If you could take three months off from your current life and do anything in the world, what would you do?

This one can be relatively short, honestly. It's no secret that I want to travel. I would love to travel all across the country in a car pulling a pop-up camper behind it with Joe. I want to experience all kinds of different things and takes millions of photos and make infinite memories. I want to go to Woodstock and Coachella and Bonnaroo. I want to visit California and see the town I was born in. I want to see Wisconsin, where Joe's mom grew up. I just want to be spontaneous and silly and have the time of my life.


Blogtember: Very Good Advice

Pass on some useful advice or information you learned and always remembered.

You know, I never really was a person to ask advice. I didn't have my grandparents around most of the time, so it wasn't like I grew up with "pearls of wisdom" every day. And normally, I kept my problems to myself. I rarely ever went to my mom or dad with y problems. I like to keep my personal business between myself and the people directly involved. So my advice honestly wasn't from a family member, or even a friend or teacher. It was something I saw on Doctor Who just this year when I had my Netflix marathon.

"You don't just give up. You don't just let things happen. You make a stand! You say no! You have the guts to do what's right, even when everyone else just runs away."
-Billie Piper as Rose Tyler

I feel like this has inspired me to stand up for myself and others so much. I have rid my life of one of its biggest negative factors and begun to rebuild my relationship with my dad. I have found myself expressing more vocally my opinions on subjects that I feel strongly about. I feel like this simple quote has really influenced my life in a positive way.


Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Blogtember: Where I Come From

Describe where or what you come from. The people, the places, and/or the factors that make up who you are.

Yeah, that's me. Circa 2010.
Well, I guess here goes a brief history lesson on little ol' me! I was born on January 4, 1995 in Twentynine Palms, CA, where my dad was stationed with the USMC. My parents are both from New Hampshire and were together since high school. I don't remember anything about California though, because we moved away when I was 1. That's about the same time as when the pretty carrot-top hair I was born with all fell out for another year until it grew back platinum blonde. No joke. I was born with the hair color I'm so desperately trying to achieve now. It kinda makes me hate baby me a little.

Anywho, we moved to Beaufort, SC then. Right where I am now.  There was a lot of moving around later in my life, but I ended up right back here. My parents divorced when I was very young, about 3 or 4 I think. Both of them remarried, and I moved out to Oklahoma City, OK with my mom when I was 9. There, my mom gave birth to my brother, and my stepmom gave birth to my little sister in Ohio. I had always wanted a little brother or sister... I got both within 4 months of eachother! My brother's father was never a part of his life due to personal issues, so I became his second parent. It wasn't a fair thing for a 9-year-old, but it is what it is.

Because of having to raise him alongside my mother as I did, I feel that I became a very motherly person from a young age. Even nowadays, I find myself playing mother hen to my friends sometimes. I know it gets annoying, but it's just because I care and I worry. I opened my range of affection at a young age, and it stayed that way. I can't bear to see someone else cry, even if I don't know them.

I think because my parents were divorced when I was so young, and my mom's second marriage wasn't ideal either, I became very cautious and insightful and choosy. I never felt any real affections for anyone until high school and didn't date anyone until I met Joe in sophomore year. It's not that I didn't have the whole middle school girl "Ooooh, he's really cute!" moments, I just was very watchful. I never invested myself into friendships until I had observed the person for a while. I like to stay back and see a person's mannerisms and the way they talk and handle situations. I feel like I have avoided a LOT of drama in my life, and a lot of heartbreak. Many people think that I'm super shy because of this, but really... I'm just absorbing the people around me. 

I have wondered sometimes if I am introverted or not. I love being around people, but because I am very quiet around new people at first, I find it difficult. I like to know what kinds of things people like before throwing myself into a conversation with them. So for everyone else that I know to be talking with the person before I get a good feel for their personality, what they find offensive and what topics to avoid, etc., I get frustrated and can come off as a bit clingy and whiny with my friends. And it's exhausting. It's not that I like to be the center of attention, because lord knows I can't stand all eyes being on me, it's just that I like to know that I am safe talking to the people that I do. 

My schedule doesn't really allow me to hang out with people much anyway, so when I do, I get excited and exhausted and by the end of it I kinda wanna go home and cry because I basically used up all of my energy for about a week. Being around a lot of people and a lot of personalities gets me extremely emotional. In DC, I shared a room with 3 of my friends in choir and the second night I burst into tears over my bra cups' outline being seen through the fabric of my dress. Not a big deal, but it basically made me not even want to go to the awards banquet. I would have missed out on us winning 1st place and Most Outstanding Choir! Nationally!

I feel that I definitely have room to grow, and I work every day to try and overcome some of the personal issues that I have. But I am also proud of who I am today, because I could be much worse than I am now. I have never drank alcohol and I never want to. I have never smoked and I never want to. I have never done drugs of any kind and I never want to. I could be in a much more unhealthy place. I could be like many people my age and drinking underage and off at "parties" getting high. But I'm not, because I know how to make the right decisions for me. And I am so proud of that. I have a wonderful, loving boyfriend, and a great future ahead of me. I'm proud to say that my past truly has affected me, made me stronger.