Tuesday, July 29, 2014

In The Moment

As a teenager, a photographer, and just a sentimental person in general, it has always been important to me to  have pictures of my experiences. My philosophy has always been that the more photos I have, the better I will remember. Of course, there are the times when you can't capture photos because of rules or because you can't get your camera or phone out in time. Sometimes the memory simply can't be caught on film, like a smell or a texture. And sometimes it's best to forget about the pictures and truly dive into the experience at hand.

The other day, I was able to spend an evening with my friend Jackie. She and I were in choir together, and I hadn't seen her in a good while. We spent most of our time together on the docks and watched the sun set while talking about everything: our lives, school, relationships, really everything. Most of the time we spent talking was concerning faith. I have been increasingly interested and curious about trying to find my place in the Christian faith, but I haven't had the resources or the patience to really try until now. Since Jackie has always been very awe-inspiring and serene in her faith, I knew she would be the perfect person for me to talk to; and she was. She listened to my doubts and concerns, and she wasn't judgemental. She allowed me to pose the hypothetical questions that have been bouncing around my brain for years and even offered hypothetical solutions that weren't sarcastic and really helped me. 

As the sun was setting, there was a small pod of dolphins that were swimming around, and we could see their dorsal fins cresting. It was beautiful, and the breeze was blowing and the sunset was creating an unfathomable canvas of reds, oranges, pinks, yellows and blues in the sky and reflecting on the river as it lowered itself over the horizon. I didn't even think to bring my phone out to snap a picture, and in a way I'm glad I didn't. I was really in the moment, experiencing the beauty without a lens in between. I was enjoying how the light wind was swirling my hair around my face and how the water sounded so calm as it lapped against the bank and how truly accepted I felt in my journey towards finding my faith. 

I think it's high time everyone tries to do this, experience some things in life without feeling like you have to be snapping pictures for Instagram or live tweeting the entire ordeal (although Jackie and I being attacked by a giant cicada on the walk back to her house would have made for some pretty hilarious tweets!) The point is, technology is nice. It's convenient, fun, and (let's be honest here) addicting. However, it doesn't take that much effort to slip your iPhone back into your purse and get into an experience 100% organically. Blog about it later, make a Facebook status about it later, but really let go of the little magic metal boxes and actually experience the experiences you are bragging about. They're more fun that way.


Monday, July 28, 2014

Music Monday // Number 02

Today's selection: "Goes Without Saying" by Anchor & Braille

I was introduced to this band by my friend Josh and since then I have been absolutely in love with their music. Please enjoy!


Monday, July 21, 2014

Music Monday // Number 01

This is a new feature I would like to begin on the blog, where I share music I currently love/discover. I would love to be able to feature up-and-coming artists or even videos of open-mic night performers, so if you have any suggestions, please submit them in through the contact form on my blog's sidebar. Please enjoy this new segment as I share my love and passion for music with you, my lovely readers!

This week's selection: "Poison" by Jet Black Alley Cat


Thursday, July 17, 2014

The Queen City

My overnight trip to Charlotte wasn't as eventful as I had thought, but it was still fun nonetheless. I honestly think my favorite part of the trip was the ride to and from, with my headphones in and the scenery whirring past as we drove down the highway. I love just the thought and prospect of going places. 

We stayed with my mom's boyfriend's family, which was very nice. We went to SeaLife, which is a local rescue aquarium inside a mall. Yes, INSIDE the mall. This mall was absolutely gigantic. Words cannot describe. 

We ate dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings that night and spent the rest of our trip the next day shopping in the mall. I would have loved to get out and see some of the local spots in Charlotte, but that'll be for another trip. 

Peace out, Charlotte. Hope to see you again soon!


Wednesday, July 16, 2014

What Is Keeping You From Achieving Your Dreams Right Now?

Elizabeth over at Delightfully Tacky has challenged fellow bloggers to answer the following question: "What is keeping you from achieving your dreams right now?" I have decided to join in on this conversation.

It would be so easy for me to put the blame on anything but myself; I could blame my home life or the economy, my recent breakup or the loss of friendships. I could put the fault on any number of outside sources. But when it comes down to it, I am the one who is holding myself back.

I really noticed it the other day. I'm still very close friends with my ex, and I was laying on my bed talking to him when I looked over and saw the list of "19 Things To Do Before I Turn 20" taped to the side of my bookshelf. I put it there to remind myself that I had goals to reach, but this was really the first time I had looked at it in months. And to be honest, I was really sad to realized that I haven't done a single one of them... and I have less than 6 months left. 

Some of them are things that I know have to be done: getting my driver's license, getting my transfer to SCAD sent in and accepted, and so on. Really, it's my own procrastination and laziness and fear and insecurity that has held me back from many of these things. I have always felt something; this want, desire, need, to be accepted and admired and loved. I have the worst habit of comparing myself to others, and living in the age of Facebook, blogging, and Instagram, it's very easy for me to feel less than; less interesting, less lovable, less beautiful. I could have a wonderful experience going somewhere or create something beautiful, but my brain sees something of someone else's and I lose confidence in the things I feel or have done. And it's really sad, because I know that I have a lot to be proud of and a lot to share. 

My life choices are already different from most people my age anyway. While most people are drinking and smoking and experimenting with drugs and sleeping around and having the quintessential "college experience," I have no desire for any of those things. These are personal choices and by no means do I think I am better than anyone else for making them; but I also don't want to be around people who are going to be getting plastered or high and I don't want to be made to feel like a freak for not dating a different guy every weekend. Because of these choices, I know many of my friends leave me out of things and don't even bother to make plans with me even one-on-one, which is sad because it makes me feel like I'm not good enough. I know that I could overcome these feelings of social anxiety on my own, but in a way I wish someone would at least extend an offer or two to give me a hand.

I know that I am the one getting in my own way, and I know that a lot of the excuses I make are really only present and relevant in my head. After seeing that list with nothing on it completed, I know I have to make many changes, and I am already putting effort towards a few things that I know need to be done.