Friday, November 21, 2014

Influenster: Flex Your Social Media Influence

So, my lovely readers, you may have noticed that I post a lot of product reviews in which I have received the featured items from a site called Influenster, which is a website that allows you to use your social media presence to voice your opinion on products and services. I began using Influenster in 2012 and I absolutely love the site. Not only do you have the opportunity to qualify for boxes chock-full of great products to test and review, but there are other wonderful things on the site as well.

They have recently redesigned their site, and created a mobile app, so it's a little different than when I started using it. Now, there is a section called "The Hub" where featured articles on all different types of subjects are displayed. My favorite feature on The Hub is the word of the day (today's is "tenebrous"!) Influenster also has a great little section called VoxPerks, which are special offers and discounts offered to it's members. On your profile, you can see your Impact Score and Reach Diagram (both determined by how many friends/followers you have across all of your social media accounts.) You will also find a section called "Snaps" where survey questions help earn you points towards badges (and badges help qualify you for Vox Boxes!) 

There are three different types of badges; Expert badges, Lifestyle badges, and Campaign badges. Expert badges are for things like beauty, fashion, tech, travel, wine, etc. Lifestyle badges are for things like Bride-to-be, Mothers, College students, etc. For both of these, you earn points to the badges by leaving product reviews, answering questions, and sharing product pages on your social media accounts. The higher your scores in your badges, he more likely you are to be chosen for Vox Boxes and Virtual Vox Boxes. Campaign badges are earned when you receive a Vox Box or Virtual Vox Box and complete all of the tasks for the badges (usually sharing pictures of the product on social media, following brand accounts on Twitter, leaving product reviews on Amazon, etc.) The better your score in your campaign badges, the more likely you are to win special free prizes from the respective brands.

I have received 6 physical Vox Boxes and 6 Virtual Vox Boxes in my time, ranging from Language-learning videos to beauty products to snack foods and more; and I have been very pleased with all of the services and products offered. I have even won a handful of prizes from my campaign badges!
I think one of the greatest things about Influenster is the Reviews section. The reviews are all very in-depth, and there's the option to ask/answer specific questions consumer-to-consumer with no industry jargon involved. And now that they have an app, everything is so easy. On-the-go, you can scan a product in the store with their bar code scanner to pull up reviews on Influenster to help you make decisions. This is on top of allowing you to access all of your regular Influenster information from your phone. Pretty great, right?

All-in-all, I highly recommend using Influenster. On top of being an excellent source of honest and accurate product reviews, you have the chance to receive free products to test and to voice your opinion of these products! Can it get any better? The Vox Box programs are smart (and free!) advertising on the part of the companies involved (hopefully even more brands will start getting involved!) because I mean, really; if you see someone raving about a product on social media, you're going to wanna try it too, right? Especially if it's someone you know or a blogger you look up to. As a member of the Influenster nation, you get first dibs on trying!! So go check it out, everyone! It's totally worth it!!!


Thursday, November 13, 2014

Product(s) Review: Dean's List Vox Box from Influenster

I received the Dean's List Vox Box free from Influenster in order to test the (abundance of) products inside. I am very pleased overall. I have already reviewed the SoftLips Cube, Playtex Sport Fresh Balance, and SinfulColors Nail Polish in #NoTextRed in other posts, so I'll just give my brief reviews of the other products and an overall review of the box as a whole.

Kiss Looks So Natural Lashes:

I don't wear false eyelashes hardly ever, but I did apply these one night when I was at home (unfortunately I neglected to take any photos.) The lashes did in fact look very realistic, which is a nice change, although they are still too long for me to wear on a daily basis. Maybe I'll put them on for a Girl's Night Out when my friend Autumn comes back from Erskine for winter break?

Pilot FriXion Clicker Pens:

College students, you ALL need to go out ASAP and buy these pens. YOU CAN ERASE THE INK. If that doesn't make you excited as a college student who likes to take really neat notes, you're wrong. These pens are the Seriously. I need like 20 in every single color they make.

Airheads Bites:

Okay, so I was happy to be sent some candy, but I totally prefer the classic Airheads to these bites. They were kind of hard and difficult to chew, and the flavors weren't the same tasting as the original. Honestly I would not recommend.

Luden's Watermelon Throat Drops:

I can not stand cough drops that taste like someone placed the solid form of rubbing alcohol in my mouth (ugh). That being said, these just tasted like watermelon candy, so I honestly couldn't tell you if they work or not. I'd be a little worried about kids getting into these. You know, because if it looks like candy and tastes like candy, little kids are gonna assume it's candy and go through the whole dang bag in one sitting.

Overall, I was very pleased with the products I was lucky to receive in the #DLVoxBox. I cannot wait to be included in more campaigns from Influenster!


Saturday, November 8, 2014

Fall/Conceptual Portraits: Nick Riemer

Wowza! It's been a crazy couple of weeks! We finally got moved into the new place last Tuesday (although we're still nowhere NEAR being unpacked!) All the kinks are still working themselves out but it'll be all-good soon. 

ANYWAY, I recently did this great shoot with my friend Nick. He wanted some really nice ones and also had this really cool concept. He's into the whole Fallout/Walking Dead/apocalypic/dystopian scene, and had these AMAZING props to work with!

You can see the rest of Nick's shoot by visiting my Facebook page.


Monday, October 27, 2014

Music Monday // Number 14

In honor of Halloween this week, have Bette Midler singing "I Put A Spell On You" in the 1993 film Hocus Pocus. Because why not?


Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Product Review: Softlips Cube in Fresh Mint

Hello lovelies!

Time for another product review from my Dean's List Vox Box courtesy of Influenster! Today I am going to be reviewing the Softlips Cube. I received the "Fresh Mint" flavor, which I absolutely adore. The Softlips Cube has a 5 in 1 lip care with lip perfecting technology; it has shea butter to hydrate, antioxidant Vitamins A, C & E to soothe and repair skin, emollients to smooth roughness, SPF 15 to protect from the sun, and a lightweight shine.

I truly love this lip balm. The mint makes my lips tingle, which feels nice, it is smooth and moisturizing without feeling oily or greasy, and it leaves my lips feeling perfectly kissable. I also love that a coupon for $1 off 1 Softlips Cube product was included, because I totally wanna go out and buy more!


Monday, October 20, 2014

Music Monday // Number 13

My junior year in high school, my choir did a musical medley of songs from Wicked. I have a deep fondness, attachment, and connection with "Defying Gravity", and I am pretty much positive it is my all-time favorite song, or at least ridiculously close to the top of the list. This is an a Capella cover done by The Stereotypes of Washington University in St. Louis. Enjoy!


Sunday, October 19, 2014

Product Review: SinfulColors Nail Polish in #NoTextRed (1530)

In my Dean's List Vox Box, I also received a free bottle of SinfulColors nail polish to test and review. The color is No Text Red, and it is a movement by the company to try and help raise awareness of the dangers of texting and driving. The card that came with the nail polish informs that texting while driving surpasses drunk driving as the cause of teen driver injuries and deaths (according to a 2013 Cohen's Children Medical Center Survey.)  The idea is for users to paint their thumb nails red to visually remind themselves not to text while driving. It is also encouraged that friends and family are involved and that you paint their thumbs red also to help keep them from dangerous habits.

As far as the nail polish itself goes, I am very pleased. The color is bright and very pigmented and doesn't stain the nails or chip. It is easy to remove as well, and doesn't take hours to dry completely. 

You can find #NoTextRed at Walgreens, Bed Bath & Beyond, Harmon, KMart, ICM, Albertson's, HEB, Giant Eagle, Hi School Pharm, AAFES, Nexcom, and Wegmans. SinfulColors is trying to get #NoTextRed stocked in as many retailers as possible, so this list may continue to grow. 


Saturday, October 18, 2014

Product Review: Playtex Sport Fresh Balance

My latest Vox Box from Influenster, the Dean's List Vox Box, was absolutely PACKED with products to test. Luckily, this box came about a week before I started my period, so I didn't have to worry about buying tampons this month! I got a full box of Playtex Sport Fresh Balance, a brand I hadn't yet tried.

First of all, I have to get a little mini-rant out of the way. These tampons are "lightly scented." I don't know about any of you ladies, but here's my view on this: if you are close enough to me to smell my period with a tampon up my vagina holding the blood inside my body, odds are you are WAY TOO DAMN CLOSE to me. Seriously. If you can smell my period you need to back off. 
Not only that, but the "scent" reminded me of that old lady powder stuff. Yuck. If you are sensitive to perfumes, I would definitely suggest going unscented.

Now, as far as function goes, these tampons were awesome. They were easy to put in and they were virtually nonexistent as far as I was concerned. I have been going for walks almost every morning and there wasn't any spotting or leaking. Overall, I would give these tampons an 8.5/10 and would recommend them to my friends. 

#PlayOn , readers!


Friday, October 17, 2014

Life Lately

Excited About: GETTING ACCEPTED INTO SCAD!!!!!!!!! That's right, starting in January, I will be attending the Savannah College of Art and Design via their eLearning program to earn my B.A. in Photography!!! I also received an academic scholarship from SCAD and could qualify for more once I submit a résumé and portfolio. Also, we have found a new house and we get to start moving things over and cleaning on Sunday! I am so blessed and excited to have all of these wonderful things happening in my life!

Working On: I have a photoshoot coming up with my friend Nick, but after that I don't have anything planned with my business. I am hoping to receive more clients once I am able to share Nick's photos! I have also been working slowly at learning to play the ukulele (I only know about 3 chords so far, and I am having trouble with chord transitions) as well as a few ideas in the works for some DIY projects (clothing and home.) I made myself this really pretty dark teal mermaid maxi skirt out of terrycloth which is PERFECT for fall/winter, and I can't wait to style it and share it on the blog!

Concerned About: I went to go check my credit score for the first time on Credit Karma and the site wouldn't recognize my social security number. A few months ago, when I tried to make a PayPal account to use with my business, it wouldn't let me because none of the info with my social security number matched my own info. So it seems that someone else has been using my social, and from what my mom is telling me, it happened when I was a baby also. I am going in this week to try to figure it out. Hopefully, I won't have to be issued a new social security number!!

Watching: In true Halloween spirit, I am trying to educate myself in all of the old/new and popular horror films. The Craft, Elvira: Mistress of the Dark, Rosemary's Baby, the works. I have also caught up on Reign, Supernatural, and Once Upon A Time.

Links I Love:


Monday, October 13, 2014

Music Monday // Number 12

You know, sometimes you go into a slump and things just don't seem to shine so brightly. Maybe you feel less yourself, maybe you lose that sparkle of confidence in your eye and maybe you just don't appreciate everything about yourself. One thing pop music has going for it is that once in a while, bam! Out pops a catchy little tune that makes you wanna roll out of bed and kick some ass and break some hearts. 


Monday, October 6, 2014

Music Monday // Number 11

Happy Monday!

This week's selection I chose because of the sampling of "Africa" by Toto. We did "Africa" with my choir my senior year in high school and it has a special place in my heart. I really love the way it was used in this modern piece. Without further ado, here's "Fight For You" by Jason Derulo.


Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Fall Portraits // Angela

My friend Angela, who was in my high school choir with me, contacted me this week about doing headshots and portraits for her, and I was more than happy to be of service. She is such a beautiful girl and such a natural in front of the camera! To see more from Angela's shoot, visit my Facebook page.


Monday, September 29, 2014

Music Monday // Number 10

So I feel like I'm the only person who wasn't upset about the free U2 album being on my iPhone. I was actually happy. I mean, come on. Free music? Yes please! And then on top of it, the album's actually great! Here's my favorite from their new album, a song called "The Miracle (Of Joey Ramone)". Enjoy!


Thursday, September 25, 2014

Senior Portraits // Alex

My latest session was with my friend Alex, doing his senior photos! I've known this kid since I was 2 and he was like 3 months old, so this was a really special shoot for me. These is from part one of two (the second part will take place when soccer season starts... yay athletic photos!) To see the rest of the session and to view more of my photography, check out Whispered Wishes Photography on Facebook!


Tuesday, September 23, 2014

There's A First Time For Everything

Shirt/ Body Central (gift); High-waisted Shorts/ Jessica Simpson (The Clothes Rack); Belt/ The Clothes Rack; Shoes [not shown]/ Chinese Laundry nude patent leather pumps (The Clothes Rack)

They say there's a first time for everything, and last Sunday was a first for me. I went out for coffee and hung out with Joe by ourselves for the first time in over 6 months, and I felt amazing. We got coffee, walked around downtown a bit, got ice cream, visited his mom, visited my dad, and just enjoyed ourselves.

 I mark last Sunday as the beginning of me feeling super confident and comfortable in my own skin.
These pictures are bad. Like reeeeeally bad. I can't even believe how bad they are. I promise you all, the outfit looked SOOOOOOO much better in person. I felt like one hot tottie. And I don't even care how lame that sounded, I looked good. Sometimes it takes a good span of time where you feel awful, just like total ass and like you'll never catch a break, and then suddenly one day you wake up put on your Big Girl (or Boy) panties and things get better. And things have been going very well for me as of late. 


Monday, September 22, 2014

Music Monday // Number 09

Whoops, I missed a week! I blame our WiFi company. Ugh.

This week's selection is more Pentatonix with this ridiculously catchy song "La La Latch".



Friday, September 19, 2014

Life Lately

My best friend, Autumn, and I on our last day together before she left for college up at Erskine.

Feeling: Lately I've been feeling extremely overwhelmed by all aspects of my life. Between being unable to find a job, dealing with working through the breakup, trying to figure everything out with my transfer to SCAD and financial aid, us trying to find a new house... there's a lot going on. I finally just broke down in tears earlier today after hearing that we didn't get the house we had looked at. Because it was basically the perfect house and I did the dumb thing and got my hopes up and already had a Pinterest board going for things I wanted to do in "my" room. Typical Gabby move.

Watching: On the plus side, DOCTOR WHO IS BACK!!!!!! I, for one, am totally loving Peter Capaldi's Doctor and I think that the Scottish sass and darker tone is very much needed after having two cute-and-cuddly Doctors (although I am not at all complaining about Tennant and Smith!) 

Excited About: Photography opportunities! I just finished one Senior Photo session for a guy I've known since we were both in diapers, and I have another cool conceptual photo session with one of my friends coming up soon. On top of that, I have received many inquiries as to my pricing! Much excitement.

Links I Love:


Monday, September 8, 2014

Music Monday // Number 08

This week's selection is "The Same Thing We Do Everyday Pinky" by Broadway. I can't give you any real explanation of why I love this song other than the vocals of the lead singer. That amazing male falsetto... Oo-de-lally~


Monday, September 1, 2014

Music Monday // Number 07

This week's selection is a classic and one of my favorites (artist and song alike.) Please enjoy Frank Sinatra's "Fly Me To the Moon"!


Monday, August 25, 2014

Music Monday // Number 06

Happy Monday everyone!

This week I'm throwing it back to Marilyn Monroe singing the song that made her iconic: "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend." It has been stuck in my head for weeks, and I finally decided to share!


Saturday, August 23, 2014

Cauliflower Crust Personal Pizza with Basil Pesto Sauce

Lately, I've been looking into healthy recipes and healthy ways to curb cravings. I mean come on, there has to be a better way than a steady stream of Twinkies, Cheetos, and Nutella, am I right? So I stumbled across a Pinterest post about using cauliflower for pizza crust and I thought, 'Why not?' I'm VERY pleased with how the pizza turned out. I tweaked with the recipe a bit, but the basic process came from this post.


1/2 head of cauliflower
1/2 cup shredded mozzarella
1 egg beaten
1/2 tsp dried oregano
1/2 tsp crushed garlic
1/2 tsp garlic salt
olive oil

2 Tbsp basil pesto
1/2 cup shredded mozzarella
1/4 cup grated parmesean


  1. To rice the cauliflower: Take the cauliflower and grate the florets through a cheese grater. Mix with 1/8 cup of water in a medium glass bowl and microwave for 6 minutes.
  2. Preheat oven to 450 degrees F. Spray a pizza pan or cookie sheet with cooking spray (I used a metal pie pan.) 
  3. In a medium bowl, combine cauliflower, 1/2 cup of mozzarella, and egg and stir until well incorporated. Mix in oregano, garlic, and garlic salt.
  4. Transfer cauliflower mixture to the cookie sheet/pan and spread into about 1/2 inch thickness. Brush the crust with olive oil to help it brown in the oven.
  5. Bake for 15 minutes.                                                                                                     
  6. Remove crust from oven. Spread pesto on crust, and top with mozzarella and parmesan. Broil for about 3 minutes or until cheese melts.
  7. Allow the pizza to cool slightly, then cut into slices and serve.

If you cut the pizza into 4 slices, each slice is approximately 70 calories.



Thursday, August 21, 2014

Laughter Is the Best Medicine

Hello, everyone!

I've been fighting a cold for about a week now. I think it's finally tapering off, but I still feel kinda gross. And what do I do when I'm feeling under the weather? Why, I look up funny videos to watch, of course! Here's one of my favorites for your enjoyment.

(P.S. I highly recommend watching the rest of his videos, because they are all hilarious.)


Monday, August 18, 2014

Music Monday // Number 05

This week's selection is the Pentatonix cover of Ariana Grande and Iggy Azalea's "Problem." Pentaonix is absolutely wonderful, so expect to see more from them featured here. Please enjoy!


Explore More

     Ever since I was little, I have had a desire to travel. I believe it has something to do with the two-year period in which I moved five times to completely different regions of the country. I was young, but not so young as to be blind to the cultural differences among the different areas of the good ol' USA. My wanderlust has grown though, especially as wonderful resources like the internet and television have allowed me glimpses into new-to-me areas of the world.

     Whether it's reading blogs by people from Scotland or Brazil or watching Andrew Zimmern sample exotic and strange foods in Cambodia on the Travel Channel, technology has allowed me to see even more pieces of our wonderful world. Through the digital platform, I have been enabled to explore more of our planet, natural and man-made; and while nothing compares to experiencing something in person, it's still extremely cool to be able to explore the catacombs of Paris or follow the Kardashians as they vacation in Thailand. I can even explore a more local turf by following along with Guy Fieri as he crosses the country on his show Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. Through the wonders of technology, I can "travel" anywhere I would like from the comfort of my own home.

     On top of mass-media coverage, there is also the closer-to-home coverage of social media. Friends and family members post photos to Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter when they travel, sharing their goofy group shots holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa or, of course, making not-so-appropriate placements of the Eiffel Tower. Many of my high school classmates went on mission trips, and I get to see their pictures with Cambodian monks, or of them giving clean water and immunizations to orphans in Africa. I was able to follow my uncle as he hiked through the woods up in Maine, a fellow choir member as she lived for 9 months in Japan, and long-time friends as they zip-lined through the canopies of Jamaica. There's nothing like peer-pressure, is there? Seeing people I know in foreign lands inspires in me an even deeper craving for experiences of my own to share.

     Many people say that technology is ruining our world. They argue that it makes humans lazy and unproductive. I have to disagree, at least in my case. Being able to see the little glimpses into another part of the world inspires me to want to apply for my passport and jump on a plane as soon as possible. I long to explore the world and divulge into new cultures. I long to feel foreign soil sifting between my toes and breathe in the scent of the air that occupies the atmosphere above it.

      For now, though, I suppose the television and blogs will have to suffice.


Sunday, August 17, 2014

Product Review: SinfulColors Nail Polish in Ocean Side (962)

In my most recent VoxBox from Influenster, the #SurfsUpVoxBox, I received many products, including this pretty blue shade of nail polish from SinfulColors, aptly named "Ocean Side." I am familiar with the SinfulColors brand and have one or two other shades of theirs; however I was not as impressed with this one. The blue color stained my nails for a week after removal, even with going over my nails repeatedly with nail polish remover and clean cotton balls. Also, the polish chipped off of the tips of my nails quickly, which is unusual for this brand. It's one of the reasons I love SinfulColors, so I was disappointed to have this issue with this polish. I wore it on my trip to Charlotte and I had to re-paint them multiple times over the course of the 2 days I was on the trip solely because of the chipping.

I wouldn't advise against trying the brand, because I have had very good luck with it (just not with this particular shade.) You can purchase SinfulColors polishes at your local Walgreens. A big thanks to Influenster for sending me this product complimentary for testing purposes!


Friday, August 15, 2014


     Over the duration of our lives, we undergo many changes. Some of these changes are small, some are large; some happen in an instant while some happen gradually over time. These changes can be intentional or simply just a reaction that our minds have to our ever-changing situations, completely unconscious and unstoppable. We don't always like the changes or the process it takes to get through them, but ultimately we have to let them happen, even if we decide to revert back to former ways. The only way to learn and gain new perspective is to experience new things: painful things, sad things, things that make every part of you ache and feel like you're missing something so vital and important to who you are. Sometimes the pain is the only thing that can shine a light on the changes that you need to make in order to attain your own peace and happiness.

     Going through my first breakup has been so hard for me. We both had held on to something that was too broken to be fixed for far too long, and when the plug was finally pulled, it devastated me. It was so impossible for me to understand; I had never done anything but love him and I knew that even if he wasn't in love with me he still loved me. It was difficult and painful and I cried every day since the first inkling of straight-out trouble, when he started talking to me about how he was thinking about breaking up. Out of respect for both myself and him, I won't go into details. All that needs to be said is that there was no unfaithfulness, and even through our breakup, we have been able to remain extremely close. We still try to talk every day. I mean, really, three and a half years wasn't for nothing. We're both even open to possibilities of trying again in the future, just not anytime soon. 

     I digress into explanation of my recent heartbreak because this time has been one of introspection and change for me. Some of the changes have happened quickly, and some slowly. The biggest change has really been my decision to focus on making myself the best person that I can be, and for me. Having nobody to tell me how wonderful they thought I was and how pretty and smart and funny... it made me feel very alone for a while. It made me feel like I had a lot of echoes bouncing around in my head that made no sense at all; and I was sad. I hated waking up and feeling unloved. I couldn't stand the feeling of knowing that there was a very good chance that for the first time in years, I may not have someone special around the holidays, nobody to kiss under the mistletoe or dream up nerdy couples' costumes for Halloween with. 
     After a few weeks of moping and feeling sorry for myself, I decided that I had had enough. I woke up and looked in the mirror and I still saw things I didn't like. My skin was broken out, I was getting really out of shape, and I just didn't have the same kind of happy light in my eyes as I used to. The difference was, I decided to do something about it that day. I put on some shorts and an old tee, pulled on my (mostly unused) walking shoes, put a baseball cap over my ponytail and went for a walk with my dog. I clocked about 1.5 miles that first day. I came home and guzzled a good 2 glasses of ice water and made myself a nice healthy salad for lunch. Then I showered and gave myself a much needed at-home spa day, complete with a manicure, pedicure, facial, and a good marathon of Marilyn Monroe movies on Netflix. 

     The point is, details aside, I made the decision to start doing good things for me, not for anyone else. Sure, I'm not gonna lie and say there wasn't a little chant of "show him what he gave up" in my mind pushing me through the last half mile of my walk, but at the very core of my motivation was my desire to create a happy and healthy environment for myself, one I could escape to alone and be perfectly content with. For the most part, I've kept it up, although the past week has been nothing but thunderstorms (which are not good for walking.) That instant decision has been the beginning of my healing process, and already I have found so much peace. I'm still in love with him, that's not even something I try to keep a secret; but instead of feeling overwhelming pain and loss at this love, I feel calm and peace. 

     The breakup also forced me to recognize many of the flaws and issues I had avoided because I thought if I ignored them, they could go away. I now have accepted that in discussions I can become a defensive and opinionated and argumentative, especially if I feel that I am unable to explain myself properly or that someone isn't "getting" my point. It's not a healthy thing in any circumstance, and I have been actively working to try and improve on my vocal communicating (i.e. my writing is better than my speech.) I also know that jealousy is something to be worked on, and I already know that I have improved in that field, as I have been able to adequately express myself. 

     Besides all of these things, I have been forced to confront my faith, or should I say my reluctance to spend much time thinking about anything having to do with religion or God or the Bible. When I was small, I was Christian, but around age 10 I lost my faith (for personal reasons I will not discuss.) And since then i has been a rollercoaster of me wanting and not wanting, caring and not caring, etc. I have lived a relatively good life, just without accepting Jesus (or anyone for that matter.) My life was lived off of morals I had in my mind rather than ones I had read out of a book (because that's all the Bible was to me for the longest time, just another book) even though they were essentially the same. During the relationship, he had expressed concern for my soul, which confused me and pressured me. I grew to feel resentment for anything to do with God simply because I felt as if I had no choice in the matter. At the same time, I was envious and in awe of his and many of my friends' abilities to have faith and find comfort in God and Jesus. Near the latter days of my relationship but before the split was even mentioned, I was beginning to put real, heartfelt consideration into pursuing a better understanding of God and the plan everyone said he has for me. And I feel as though the breakup itself and my decision to do something for me was the last push I needed to start taking it seriously.

     I still do not consider myself a Christian. I think I still have too many questions that I need answers to before I can call myself a follower of Jesus. Still, I have been keeping a daily devotional journal to help me analyze and better understand pieces of Scripture. I have been looking into books and blogs to read that may help give me some insight. I attended a youth Bible study and have been keeping in touch with the youth leader, who has been absolutely wonderful and open to my questions and understanding of where I stand with my faith. I can feel myself getting closer, even if just a fraction of an inch, every day. I am still confused and upset by many things, but that's what learning is for right? To understand and to clarify. 

     I once read a quote that said "Sometimes it takes a really hard fall to know where you stand." I definitely feel as though this applies to me greatly. It has taken something of a removal (although not really) of one of the biggest pieces of my life to slam me back to reality and make me realize that I have to look out for me and make myself good enough for me. I can't always work to appease somebody else, rather I must always work to please myself. Whether I like it or not, people in my life will always come and go, but I will always be here with me. If everyone else were to fall from the face of the Earth, I would still be around for myself; and I know that I don't want to look in the mirror one day just to find that there isn't a single thing about who I am that I am proud of. I am the most important person for me to impress. I am the only person who has to live with me for the rest of my life.

     And if I'm not happy with me, who will be?


Monday, August 11, 2014

O Captain! My Captain!

From Flubber to Jumanji, from Aladdin to Mrs. Doubtfire, and from Hook to The Dead Poet's Society, Robin Williams was an outstanding and hilarious entertainer. I was absolutely devastated to learn of his passing today, and my eyes were filled with tears. I cannot even fathom the words to say to properly commemorate such a wonderful man and honor such a big part of my childhood. All there really is to say is Rest in Peace.


O Captain! My Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:

But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! My Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills;
For you bouquets and ribbon'd wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding;
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;

Here captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head;
It is some dream that on the deck,
You've fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchor'd safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won;

Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

~Walt Whitman, 1865